Friday, September 30, 2011

I Feel Bad for You Until

I've been sick with a cold this past week and finally started feeling like a semi-normal person yesterday.  Last night, as I danced around the kitchen, Mitch made this comment:

"I feel bad for you when you're sick until I remember how obnoxious your are when you feel well."

Can you feel the love?

Looking for a Frightful Read

I am looking for a truly scary read for the month of October.  I would love to hear your suggestions!

My (Not So) Storybook Life

I have been reading Liz's blog, Mabel's House, for a couple of years now. She is an amazing writer - her blog is one of my favorites, she's had me laughing and crying with her posts - and now she has a book coming out! I can't wait to have a copy of this in my hands!

Once one has breathed in the deep pungent aroma of sewage, you never again forget the nose-hair singeing, eye clawing, throat gagging experience. It comes over you slowly. You begin to feel like a character in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest as your muscles involuntarily jerk and you run screaming and blowing raspberries. Anything to get away from the mind-numbing stench.

But let me explain.

It was 6:30 a.m. I was standing in my retro pink tiled bathroom trying to open my bleary eyes and ready myself for work. As I stood there, peering into the mirror and wondering what demented nighttime fairy had planted four new wrinkles on my face, I paused and sniffed.

“Matt… what’s that smell?”

Matt staggered from the bedroom in his underwear, eyes half shut. “I don’t smell anything.”

I pointed my nose into the air like a hunting dog. “Seriously? You can’t smell that? Did you go to the bathroom in here earlier? I told you to use the room spray when you do things like that.”

Matt puffed out his bare chest and gathered his pride as best a man can with sleep in his eyes and a small hole in the side of his underwear. “I just woke up!”

I frowned, catching a glimpse of my makeup-less hot-rollers-in-hair state and tried not to think about the fact that I looked fifty instead of twenty-nine. “Well, help me figure this out. Because something smells ripe.”

We sniffed the sink drain and ruled it out as a suspect.

“Is it coming from the toilet?” Matt asked, examining it from top to bottom.

“No, that’s not it,” I snapped. I’m not known for my milk of human kindness in a disaster. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a survivor. I plan on eating my radish like Scarlet and clawing my way out of the nuclear dust while dragging my loved ones with me. But I won’t be doing it with positive phrases and a smile.

“Hon, I just don’t know. We’ll call a plumber after work, maybe it’s coming from under the house.” Matt staggered a little, trying to get past me and out of our tiny bathroom.

“Well, that’s just great,” I moved aside and pulled the shower curtain back so I could perch on the side of the tub and give Matt room to move out the door.

That’s when the full brunt of nastiness filled the air around us, a swirling mix of excrement and acrid stench that would have brought the sewer dwelling Ninja Turtles to their knees. Where the normally slightly-clean-with-a-hint-of-soap-scum bottom of the tub should have been, there sloshed gallons and gallons of brown sewage.

I clutched the front of my sweatshirt and held my breath. Matt began to dry heave.

“Get out and shut the door!” I screamed as we bumbled into the hallway.

“I’ll deal with this,” Matt grabbed my shoulders, trying to talk and hold his breath at the same time.

I could feel my eyes glaze over, the horrors of typhoid and hepatitis in our bathtub filling my mind. But more importantly, I could envision our evaporated savings account. In my mind’s eye I could see the long, gray hallway at the bank. A worker shrouded in a black suit pulled a set of keys from his pocket and unlatched a small locker labeled “Owen Bank Account.” Inside were two small stacks of quarters and a few crumpled dollar bills. It was bleak, not only because the banker with an unimaginative wardrobe gazed at me with an expression that could only be interpreted as “You’re a Big Fat Loser,” but also there was a very definite possibility we wouldn’t be able to pay for a plumber.

I wasn’t necessarily a spend thrift. In fact, I was downright frugal when it came to decorating with thrift store furniture and rewired vintage lamps. But the fact was, we were poor. We were starting out at starter jobs with starter salaries. We were starter adults with a starter bank account.

“Okay,” I nodded numbly, thankful that Matt was taking the lead on such a disastrous biohazard. “But make sure the plumber is super cheap. We don’t have much money!”

I left for work like a wino stumbling through a fog, not really remembering my commute, not really doing any work as I sipped my coffee and stared blankly at the computer screen. A disaster of such gargantuan proportions had previously been unthinkable in my life, and now I found myself attempting to push the image of a vast sea of bathtub poop from my mind. But I was sure of one thing: Anne Shirley never had to get ready for work while breathing raw sewage.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Friday Finds

To celebrate the first day of fall - YAY! Autumn is officially here! - I thought I would share with you some of my favorite fall finds on Etsy.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Butterfly Plant

My mom has a green thumb.

This is one of my favorite plants.

The leaves remind me of butterflies.

Butterflies make me happy. Mom's plants make me happy.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Utah Vacation - Day 2

Our second day in Salt Lake City wasn't any more exciting than our first day.  Mitch had conferences all afternoon and I just bummed around the hotel room.  It was a nice, relaxing day of sleeping in and reading my book.
That evening we ate downtown (had a delicious Philly cheese steak sandwich and cheesy fries) and then wandered around the city for a while.

I love when cities don't forget about including trees and other greenery alongside the concrete and buildings.

Mitch after our dinner.  I think the cheesy grin is a result of all the cheese he ate at dinner.

Love me some pretty buildings!

Salt Lake City has flags for pedestrians to carry across the street so they can be seen.  I didn't actually cross this street but couldn't pass up a photo op.  I also like that they had LOOK painted on the streets at each crosswalk.  Apparently this city really cares about its pedestrians!

Unfortunately that is all I have to report on our second day!  Stay tuned for Day 3!

Utah Vacation - Day 1

The reason for Mitch’s trip to Salt Lake City was for the National Fraternal Order of Police National Conference.  I had no real reason to go; just tagged along because I’d never been to Utah and I wanted to take advantage of the chance to meet a wonderful blog friend!

Mitch and I were up at 3:00 in the morning to get to the local airport by 5:00; I did not think that was an appropriate time to leave for a vacation but the airlines didn’t ask me my opinion on the matter.  Our group flew to Minneapolis, had a short layover, then flew to Salt Lake City.  Mitch took this photo as we flew into the city.  The only thing to report about the flights was that I had to sit next to a woman wearing one of the worst perfumes ever made.  I don’t think people should be allowed to cover themselves in any type of scent when they are going to be in a confined space with a large group of people.

Our first afternoon and evening in Salt Lake City didn’t consist of anything too exciting.  Mitch and his colleagues got checked in at the conference center, our group checked into the hotel, we walked around The Gateway (an outdoor mall), and a couple of us drove to Wal-Mart for some necessities.  It was a nice day but I was sure happy when bedtime rolled around; I was exhausted!

I forgot to take photos of our hotel room, so I had to steal some off the hotel's website.

A king-size bed right next to the window.  In the mornings, the sun would shine in on my side of the bed; it was a marvelous way to start the day!


We turned the dry bar into "snack central."  It was much more fun that way!

I was quite impressed with our toilet seat.  It was one of those fancy models that closes automatically - and slowly - with just a little nudge from the user.  So entertaining!

And here were the views from our room.

Day 2 coming up!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Forrest Gump, Starring my Husband

In August of 2009, my husband went to Los Angeles for a conference. He came home from work tonight with photos of the trip from a coworker (finally!). I saw this one and just had to share; it makes me laugh.

A Mirror, Grandparents, and Roller Derby

I have no excuses for my lack of blogging.  I wish I could say it was because I'm so busy but that just wouldn't be true.  For some reason, I am no longer good at managing my time.  How, at 30 years old, do I not have this down to an art?  Oy!  Anyhoo, to get my butt back in gear with blogging, I thought I would share with you some of the happenings in my little world as of late.  Then it will be on to vacation posts!

On Saturday, September 10th, I decided that I didn't need my driver's side mirror and smashed it against the side of the garage as I was pulling out.  Oopsie!

On Sunday, September 11th, I joined my parents and sister on a trip to visit my grandparents on their special day.  I think this was the first Grandparent's Day I actually spent with my grandparents; it was wonderful.

In other, no-photo news:

I wore a pair of my mismatched socks to roller derby practice this past Wednesday.  I survived but I do think the combination of frogs on the left foot and ducks on the right foot was the cause of my crappy practice.  I think I fell more that evening than I have the entire time I've been skating.

On Saturday, one of my roller derby teammates hosted a party to celebrate the team's one year birthday.  It was a fun evening with some of my  favorite women.  I often wonder if all derby teams are as awesome as ours.  I doubt it!

Hope you're all having a great start to your week!  I plan to catch up with you all real soon!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Snapshot Saturday: Childhood

If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.
~Tom Stoppard ~

Friday, September 9, 2011

Screen Door and Socks

I've been wanting a screen door since Mitch and I moved into our house nearly three years ago. On Wednesday, my dear husband finally found the time to install one. It was kind of a stressful deal involving lots of swearing and a little bleeding, but that's beside the point; it's up and I'm very excited to have another place where I can see outside and another space where the fall sun can shine in. (Anyone else THRILLED that autumn is coming?)

And on Wednesday evening at practice, one of my wonderful roller derby friends gave me these socks to wear with my skates.  Cute, huh?  But notice how none of them match?  Apparently that's the "hip" thing right now and all the "cool" kids are doing it.  I personally think she is trying to give me a complex.  If she hadn't bought these out of town, I probably would have run to the store to buy another pack in order to have matching pairs!  Think I can handle this mismatch business?

Friday Finds

My sister has started a new blog about her endeavors in creating!  Go visit her at Rhythmic Stitch!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Best Childhood

I've been feeling a little down these past few days; no particular reason, just a mood I guess. Today I went to my parent's house between classes to work on homework. I attempted one problem and when it didn't work out I gave up and looked at old photos. Nothing cheers me up quite like looking at the memories my family has made over the years. I left the house with a happy heart.

My sister and I were two very blessed little girls. We had a wonderful childhood filled with toys, travel, and lots and lots of love. There are hundreds of photos to prove it.

Thank you, mom and dad, for giving your two crazy daughters the best childhood imaginable.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Happy 58th!

Happy Birthday to my wonderful father!  May this next year be filled with motorcycles, airplanes, and all the other things you love.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Snapshot Saturday: Difference of Opinion

I'm going to guess that if these two pups could talk, this is what I would have heard as I snapped this photo:

Moses: I'm so excited to be visiting again!

Crickett: Mom, why is he here again?

Friday, September 2, 2011

Friday Finds

Airigami - "The fine art of folding air"

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Three Tidbit Thursday

~ I have two major topics I want to finish blogging about in September: 1) Utah trip and 2) Florida trip. I cannot believe I still haven't finished blogging about the vacation Mitch and I took in January!

~ I began my fall semester of courses last week Monday. It looks like my favorite classes are going to be Fraud Examination and Auditing I. Yes, I'm a nerd.

~ Last week Monday, I also took my roller derby skills test. I passed, which means I am no longer "Fresh Meat." This means I get to practice with the "real" team, including my sister. I'm so excited to be part of this awesome group of women! Two other perks of passing my skills test include a jersey with my name and number and a custom made mouth guard.  Woot, woot!